Recycle This

I have recycled a few potential mates over the years. I was willing to give Pilot-Boy another fly by, but he wrote back to tell me he was attached now and had been for over a year. In retrospect, he was one who should remain where he was, in the recycle bin where I placed, not tossed, him. He didn’t possess the passion that I am looking for in a man. And if he’s too nervous to kiss me on the couch, what’s it going to be like between the sheets? Yes, we women do think of this sort of thing. We don’t want apprehension in our intimate lives. We want the guy to be ‘in-charge,’ and confident.

That reminds me of a story that goes way back to when I had a female purebred collie. I wanted to breed her and so brought her back to her birthplace, an acreage where this interesting elderly woman kept thirty or more gorgeous lassie dogs in various barns, and in her farmhouse. She had this highly rated male dog chosen for her. They are very careful with the selection and do not want to breed too closely as in grandfather and daughter sort of thing. They want the end result to be champion puppies.

So anyway, Ginger was left in this woman’s capable hands and I was told to return in a few days with hopefully, good news on the two having a successful tryst. That didn’t happen. I returned to be told that Ginger turned and bit this woman’s champion sire when he tried an aggressive overture to her.

“I admit my male is fairly new to this and he was slightly nervous in his approach. But your female didn’t give him a chance and bit him. Twice to be exact. I am afraid her indelicate behavior is going to spoil him in future sire duties. I don’t want him to lose his confidence!”

“Oh no!” was my response.

“Oh, yes! My professional opinion is that your Ginger is gay!”

My opinion is Ginger behaved in a manner that women have a predisposition for. We want our men to show confidence. Ginger did what perhaps many women would, if it were socially acceptable. As for Ginger being gay? Let me just say this…two weeks later Ginger escaped out of the yard and was gone AWOL for two days, I finally found her three blocks away.  The owner of a mangy Heinz 57, told me that this rogue was successful in mating with her. See? This rogue didn’t have any problem and months later my Ginger was the proud mother of four yelping puppies. She also ruined any chance of lineage and I was told I had to have her fixed if I wanted to keep her registration.

But back to my original story….

I was tiring of the dating site I’d been a long term member of. I finally closed my account after I connected with this lawyer. He wrote me an email and complimented me on this red dress I was wearing in one of my online pictures. Suddenly he was on the instant messaging. We chatted back and forty for a few minutes. He asked if I was financially independent. I responded, no. He inquired:

Have you been on here long?

Oh…on and off for a couple years. How about you?

I signed up ten minutes ago to be exact. I’ve never done this in my life, to be honest.

Well, let me warn you of the dark and murky waters here.

Sounds like you’ve had a hard time of it.

No, not really. But I realize now that I may never find the right man for me. And that’s okay.

You mean you don’t care if you never find the man of your dreams?

Oh I care. But I’ve built a good life for myself now and if it doesn’t happen I still have a good life that is very satisfying.

I smiled at that. Because it’s true and it wasn’t always so. This man had just arrived back to the coast from living and working in Paris. He was a lawyer. He looked successful in his picture. Confident man of the world. He wanted to meet me for a coffee that night. I agreed. I signed off and gushed to my roommate.

“Oh my God. This guy wants to meet me tonight. I just know he’s going to dump me.”

“Why do you say that?”

“He’s too successful. He’s too over my head I am afraid. He’ll take one look at my car and discard me. He wants a professional woman, like a doctor or a lawyer like him. I just know it. Oh my God what am I going to wear?”

Well, I didn’t have to even consider that as ten minutes later an email arrived and he wrote that he was going to have to cancel his coffee date with me as he just finished talking to a woman who was more the kind of woman he wanted. I wrote no problem. Good luck.  I am sure he met her that night as he didn’t seem the type who hesitated. The following day I checked and he closed his account. He found the one he wanted in ten minutes and he was gone. Wow, I was impressed. And here I was years later, going into the tripe digits in coffee dates and coming up empty.

I made the decision in that moment to switch dating sites. I figured I was only hooking onto bottom feeders and sharks passing through. I was tired of the same old faces staring back at me. I signed up with another that had a membership cost. I could, however, put a profile on with my picture, receive and give winks but could not respond to any emails. Within a few hours I received a wink from someone I dated five years ago. I remembered climbing the Chief with him. He made me dinner one evening at his place. He had a little dog and was in the midst of a messy divorce. I remember he seemed nervous. Out of curiosity, I waited for any correspondence from him. I received two emails that I couldn’t decipher who from nor could I open them. I couldn’t find his phone number nor his email address. I was stuck. If I wanted to reconnect I had to pay the $60.00 membership fee to open the emails and write to him. For a week I hesitated. I weighed up his good points that I could recall. He was attractive to me and very active. He was intelligent. I loved his laugh and could still remember it.

I paid the fee and opened his email.

Always, to be continued.

This is Adrienne, reporting to you live from the recycle bin.


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