Just Eat A !%#@ing Vegetable!

Just a thumbs up for a humorous little piece of advice from The Onion. I look for these things when I need a little respite from stress. I just got off the phone with mom trying to explain how to type an address in her internet browser. I could headbutt a car right now. On the highway.


The above links to such a wholesome FDA parody by The Onion, task masters to truth. A frustrated federal official pleads with the public, “Just eat a @$%#ing vegetable!” It says so much about western society, North American culture. A basic and rudimentary survival skill, such as preventing scurvy by eating plants, must be indoctrinated into over-stimulated and satiated minds of the average drone.

Think of the implications… if we could just eat a *%&$ vegetable. Healthcare budget drops in half. Stockyards and feedlots evolve back into meadow. The personal energy. Able to bounce like a deer out of bed and plod like a mule until sundown. People could build their own housing out of stone, they’d have muscles like oxen. Digestive problems—evaporated. Skin disorders, heart palpitations, lethargy—all poof! But wait, let’s keep eating crap to support the drug industry, medical advancements in extreme science, and robotic food processing plants.

Where did we stray. Convenience? Self importance? Since I started eating vegetables, my dreams have returned and I can now play violin. I’m going to try a pomegranate and expect good things.


Read more Gaboo rants and reflections and click his tag.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *