Do Dreams Make A Sound?

Do dreams make a sound when they shatter? I think so. A marriage breaking sounds like the ground cracking and the survivor catches their breath. Don’t fall in, or end up buried. Then a sliver of hope comes—that another human being might share their life—a delicate champagne glass slips out of the hands and breaks into a millions shards in the kitchen sink.

After Island-Boy wrote me his scathing letter, I did as most cyber-dating-nerds do, I logged back in. In fact, I logged in as soon as I read his letter . Within five minutes, there were three messages waiting. I gobbled them up like a smoker lighting after unsuccessfully quitting. There was nothing—except guys throwing mud on the wall, hoping something would stick. Flattering words; words that stroked my injured ego.

An amusing email arrived from Cadillac_Carl. His subject line made me laugh: I’m Not Your Sugar Daddy. The picture revealed a guy with a cigar in his mouth. It looked like an ad for a used car lot. He wore a tacky checked jacket and his hand gestured to jalopies behind him. He wrote that he liked my profile and asked if I would meet him. Then he p.s.’d that the picture was fake and he wasn’t a car salesman—just an effort to be funny. An excerpt from the email I received:

Adrienne,

You mentioned settling down, etc. To follow up on that subject I need to say that I’m probably not looking to settle down at this point. I want to share my life in the way I did when I was young and not married. I suppose that because I’ve been married, raised the kids, I’m just not motivated to ‘settle down’ right now.I don’t want to share a home which implies sharing families, finances, and all the responsibility that’s involved. I suppose it sounds selfish, but it’s just being honest and I think realistic. What do you think about that?

Well, I didn’t think much of it. I wrote and told him so. I said I wanted someone to share my life with and that I really felt that there was someone out there for me who wanted the same. He responded:

And I really appreciate that you replied to my last note. A lot of women, people really, just wouldn’t even bother to answer me. So thanks for that. We can never tell where a relationship will lead to. I have a lot of friends who seem to be happy sharing a huge part of their life without co-habiting, accepting responsibility for the other’s family, finances, etc. On the other hand some of my female friends tell me that many people want that closer relationship which comes with living together. It’s just that we can’t make that kind of assumption at this point in our lives. We really can’t make any assumptions about anything at this point. I’m content to enjoy my good fortune and peace of mind. I’m not looking for someone to complete me, and I like female companionship. Someday I hope to meet someone who will accept me as I am. I wish you well.

I respect his honesty, but he could have condensed all this to: I want a friend with benefits.

Remember the guy I climbed the Chief with? In a moment of weakness, I wrote him a short note and said that I appreciated his generous spirit. He wrote back and said that my message meant a lot. We’ve decided to meet again and give it another try.

Am I being too picky? Just because a person speaks in third person from time-to-time? Are there really enough reasons to delete him? Because he behaves like a chest-beating gorilla occasionally, should I block him? Suddenly, after these last, few, dismal encounters, Gorilla-Man is looking a whole lot better. He told me that he’s excited (uh oh!) to see me again and that he’s going to pay for everything. (brownie point!) Also, he’s apparently bought something gorgeous for me, and that I have to wait until we meet before I know what it is. (Yes, I can be bought.)

You know I’m kidding. I’ve turned down a vacation home in Hawaii, and island hopping on a private airplane, and enough financial security that I would never have to work again. It’s the generous spirit that is important, not the money. I suspect guys who don’t want to share their ‘good fortune’. They keep the part of themselves hidden, the part that makes it worthwhile to know them. The part that could piece together a few dreams.

This is Adrienne, alive and well, reporting from the shards.

 

Do Dreams Make A Sound? © 2011 Adrienne S Moody. Read the latest Adrienne exploit on Now.readthisplease.

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