Adrienne’s Back… Meeting With Expectations

Sometimes I can tell after only one glance that someone is not right for me. That’s the way it was with Craig, a man I met a week ago at a new coffee shop I’m meeting potential victims, er…  partners. I like this place and besides the old one was getting tiresome with the barista giving me suspicious glances. Craig, is a geologist, educated, intelligent and although I was doubtful that he was a good match, I hadn’t been out for a while—and what harm is there in coffee with an interesting person? I’m just as superficial as the next person; we all have a certain look that draws us near.

Craig was not my type, as he looked much older than his years, walked with a bit of a stoop and frankly, I couldn’t imagine kissing him. You have to imagine this as you sit across from a potential mate. Can you see yourself lip-locked? We had a nice enough one hour conversation. I’m an expert at filling in the pauses. I ask about his work and that can keep us going for 30 or so minutes. He was interesting with his talk of visiting remote areas of Northern Canada. We said goodbye with a handshake and I resumed my online fishing.

I got another bite the next day. He was more attractive to me and we met at the same coffee shop, manned by a different barista. We took our coffee outside and he (James) talked for the full hour. I tried to comment in between breaths but to no avail. I found my mind wandering. I was stifling yawns. I was looking for a way out. Finally, I interrupted his long monologue about the dismal string of women he’s dated (gamblers, alcoholics) and left to use the Ladies Room. I returned to my seat and said I was really tired after working all day long and would have to cut our meeting short. I put my hand out to shake his and promised to write to him with my phone number.

Ever see the sparkly eye? It’s the look where a guy (or a woman) is thinking of having you in an intimate position and you can tell his mind is departed from the moment and is seeing you *gulp* naked. It happens. James gave me the look and I pretended not to notice. I drove home feeling like I should just give up. I should at least not book with guys who do not pass the screening. Screening? I really don’t have a screening process with the exception of deleting and blocking guys who blatantly ask if I want to get prone with them. Okay, they have to be decent looking, too. There’s a lot of leeway with me and I genuinely like meeting all kinds of people.

“You just like the excitement of the first meeting, Adrienne,” my co-worker Suzanne determined.

“You think?”

“I do and I don’t blame you. My husband and I were sitting on the couch the other night just channel-surfing. He asked if I was going out and I told him no I’m staying in and there we sat. We have nothing to say to each other. I know him very well and there’s no mystery left. We stopped talking a long time ago. It’s so boring.”

I suppose that is the sad reality of it. Maybe I am addicted to the mystery, the newness of another person. I like to think that if I found Mr. Right-For-Me, I would commit and take my profile off permanently. I sighed deeply once home again and logged back on.

I read a letter from someone who lives on an Island two ferry rides away from me. His letter was unique.

I really like your writing. I especially love your expansive mind and big heart.

This was written at the end. Women like to be told they are attractive, but truly, most of us want to be appreciated for our minds and our character. I’ve never had anyone write me anything remotely like this. Expansive mind? Big heart? Likes my writing? Wow. And his picture attracted me. Tall with thick wavy blond hair. A youthful face. He used semi-colons, and utilized eye-easing paragraphs. There were no spelling mistakes.

We began to write back and forth attaching photographs to each email. He is a photographer and I suddenly had the urge to examine my collection more closely. We’re going to meet within a week. Whenever I am attracted I envisioned us together. He mentioned in one email that after a month we would need to live closer if we wanted long term. I agreed. He asked if I was determined to remain in the location that I was. I wrote back and said I would uproot for the right person. I started playing romantic music in my car. I envisions us in front of the fireplace at his oceanfront home. I declined buying a recliner chair in case we are going to hook up.

I’m trying not to have any expectations on our upcoming rendezvous.

He wrote this to me today and I returned with:

A wise friend said to me on this subject that we often don’t realize we have expectations until they are not met.

Sometimes the journey is as exciting and interesting as the destination.

I love ferries.

I love meeting new people.

Maybe he is The One.

I’ll keep you posted, as always. AM

 

Meeting With Expectations © 2011 Adrienne S Moody. Read the latest Adrienne exploit on Now.readthisplease.

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