The ‘F’ Word: Adrienne Explains

Continued from Adrienne’s Sea to Sky romance

The pickings were slim, in the recycle bin. Guys that have been there forever (I know, I know, so have I…) wearing the same old tired, hopeful expressions. Their tag lines are so worn:

‘Looking for a woman with a good heart!’

‘Searching for my soulmate!’

‘Recycled Male, Good for the environment!’

‘Honest, Intergrous, and interesting’ (huh?)

Marcel was beginning to look better as I scrolled halfheartedly. Such a debonair George Clooney smile; I gave in and decided to email him.

I realized afterwards that I made a grave error. A jock with strong libido cannot bear to hear the ‘F’ word. I wrote:

Dear Marcel,

I am definitely ready for a long term committed relationship, but i know i want to build a solid base first: meaning compatibility and good friends. That’s what I know I need. So sexuality for me happens when I feel that for someone and love (of course.)

We have a lot in common for sure. I love that you are generous and domestic and that you have a good sense of humor. There is so much in you that I like.

As for the long distance between us-that is tricky. Maybe in time one would be willing to move, but it is an issue because one person will have to. That’s just practical thinking.

Let’s build a friendship first and see where it takes us. What do you think?

I waited.

His response:

hello yes we can be friends i know your not ready for more to me i was where i lived meant nothing just wanted to be happy.

We emailed back and forth for a few days. He wanted to call me, so I agreed. I held the phone to my ear and listened to him go on about his day. Soon my arm became tired. I was becoming weary of holding the mirror for men. Would I ever find someone who will hold the mirror for me? Is it always all about them? We hung up.

Feeling disgruntled, I wrote a three paragraph email recounting my day and sent it to him. I waited for a reply. I called my Bootcamp Buddy and told her what I did.

“If he won’t ask me about my day, Karen, I’m gonna write to him about it. But I tell ya, there were a few big words in there that he might have to look up.”

“Like what?”

“Colostomy bag and decompress.” (I also have a career in client care.)

“Adrienne, why would you write about anything medical like—colostomy bag?”

“Because it’s part of my work world. I hear all about his construction work, tile setting. We stood at Starbucks and he pointed down and went into a lengthy monologue about proper placement of tiles. I had to listen. He can hear a little bit about colostomy bags.”

“Has he written back?”

“No. And I wrote another four paragraph email explaining what my day-to-day life is like and I doubt he’ll reply.”

“But you mentioned the ‘F’ word? Deadly, Adrienne.”

“I know. I think that is the last I’ll hear from him. I believed him when he said he didn’t want a sexual relationship until a person meant something to him. I thought, wow, this guy took a two hour ferry ride just to have dinner with me! And he paid for everything during our Squamish mini vacation. Will a guy do all that just for sex?”

“Adrienne, aren’t you the Queen of Relationships? Aren’t you the one dating into the triple digits? You’re disappointing me, woman.”

“What was I thinking?”


Stay tuned for Adrienne’s next online dating adventure… maybe. Read all about Adrienne’s Sea to Sky romance here. The ‘F’ Word © 2011 Adrienne S Moody. Catch up on all of Adrienne’s exploits at


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *