Number 121

I’m really careful about telling anyone (my readers especially) that I think I’ve found Mr. Right. I’ve said it so many times that my friends get this glazed look in their eyes as I gush about his attributes. My old neighbor and I chatted on the phone today, to catch up with each other’s lives. Or more specifically, about my newest suitor.

“I have to tell you about this new guy, Maddy.”

“Yes, Adrienne, please do. Is this date number one twenty one?”

“Funny, very funny. But you’re not far off. I’m not offended. I just don’t give up, do I? So, I think you’d like this one. I’ve been writing back and forth with him for almost two months now. At first I’d get these rambling long emails telling me all about his day. Like, ‘I woke up early, had toast and scrambled eggs for breakfast. After that, I went and took my dog for a walk.’ Well, not terribly interesting, but I humored the guy and responded with a more brief account of my day. I could tell he was lonely.”

“You’re so tolerant, Adrienne,” she determined with a slight note of sarcasm in her voice, which I smiled at, but ignored.

“Yes, I am. You have to be when it comes to men. You should know. You’ve been married to one for thirty years. So, anyway, this one is a teacher.”

“Oh!” she exclaimed, definitely more intrigued, as she is one herself.

“Yes, and like you, he teaches grade fives. So, he has been separated for only one year, but has been attending support groups and taking therapy to rebuild his life.”

“That’s worth a few points, Adrienne. And he’s obviously got some seniority and will have a good-sized pension when the time comes,” she spoke approvingly.

“Well, I finally wrote to him and asked why he wouldn’t post his picture. He responded that he isn’t ready. I told him, ‘Well, then I don’t have time for this.’ I posted a new picture of myself wearing that little black dress I bought and wham! He responded within a day telling me how nice I looked and attached his picture. He’s really nice looking! So we’ve talked on the phone three times and each call lasted like an hour. Unheard of for me. I told him that I rarely talk on the phone before meeting.”

“I know you do that, Adrienne, and that worries me.”

“That’s what he said, but I told him that talking on the phone without having met the guy face-to-face is unnerving. It’s creepy. Like a voice without a soul.”

“Always the drama, Adrienne.”

“That’s what it sounds like to me, but, with him, his name is Alan, there is such warmth to his voice and he’s so open, Maddy, the time just flies, and I’m feeling quite smitten. And I haven’t even met the guy yet. He’s told me things about himself and I told things to him—I feel like I’ve known him for a long time. This is so different than anything I’ve experienced.”

“When will you meet him?”

“Sunday. We have a date planned for Sunday.”

What is different about this one? That’s a question I’ve been asking myself these last few days. In the first conversation with Alan, he spoke of his therapy class in which he was told that for every year of marriage it would take three months alone to recover.

He disagreed, “I’m not doing that, Adrienne! I was married a good many years, so I’d be near the grave if I waited to have another relationship. I told the therapist that time is expensive. I don’t have a lot of it to waste. I asked her how long she figured it would take her to walk me through the quickest route over a broken marriage.”

When he called me the second time, I had mentioned in an email that I could talk between the hours of 8:00 and 9:00 p.m. At exactly eight o’clock the phone rang and it was him. He told me that he’d had a  great session with the therapist earlier that evening. He did the homework that was given to him- write out all that he wanted to say to his ex without any interruption.

“It took me three hours, Adrienne. And funny, I didn’t feel angry or really that sad. I felt kind of emotionless, really. So I gave her the pages I’d written, and she was pleased with it. She said that she could see I did the climb. The climb is the part of the recovery that is so much work. There are many steps to it, like anger, hurt, depression, etc. She said she felt I’d reached the top and the climbing down is much easier. And she said she felt I was ready for dating.”

“That’s great, Alan,” I said with rising excitement, knowing what was coming next.

There is this exuberance to his voice that I can detect. I think it’s from someone who has been married a long time, since he was twenty-years-old. He told me that he feels like a teenager again, but with wisdom. He also said that when he graduated from University with his teaching degree, before he met his wife, he felt the same way.

“Like the whole world was open to me, Adrienne. All the possibilities were out there. Anything can happen. This is how I feel now.”

He is different from the men I’ve dated. He’s new to the singles world and not yet jaded. Also, something else—there’s something in his voice that’s nearly indecipherable. I heard it during the third phone call to me.

I think he’s feeling that little seed of hope, that he’s found someone to love. I know, because I’m feeling it too.

 

Number 121 © 2011 Adrienne S Moody. Read the latest Adrienne outdoor adventure and romantic exploit on Now.readthisplease.

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