Rescue Me – Daydreams in Uniform

When I first began online dating, I felt embarrassed, even humiliated, that I would go to this extreme in order to find a partner in life. It was a married friend who first suggested online dating and encouraged me to try.

“I wouldn’t be caught dead on one of those sites, Lonnie. It’s way too dangerous for a woman to meet guys that way! Who knows who you’re going to meet? How do we know they are who they say they are?”

“It’s no different meeting someone in a bar. Creeps are everywhere, Adrienne. I know a few women who have married men that they met online, so don’t scrap the idea. Think about it— I know you want to meet someone and you’re not the kind of person who walks up to guys and asks if they want to go for coffee. And you’re not exactly giving out vibes that you are approachable.”

She was right. Maybe it’s because of all the violence that goes on against women. When we/I are out and about in the world, we develop an edge. Not that I don’t smile at men when they smile at me. I do. But if someone unexpectedly makes an overt move, or if he gives signals that he’s interested in more than just passing, my instinct is ‘back away’. I’m sure I’m not alone. It happens to me and I often walk away cursing my coolness—and maybe missing the chance to meet someone really interesting.

I was at a favorite coffee shop the other day, writing on my laptop in the back—back to the wall, my favorite position. A good looking man entered and as soon as he did, I looked up and we locked glances. This took me by surprise and I immediately looked down at my keyboard. (See? No smile of encouragement. Just stunned surprise like a deer frozen in a car’s headlights.) After he placed his order, my radar sensed him moving closer. I looked up and again our eyes met. I coyly lowered mine once more.

He was standing in front of me, barely six feet away, with his back turned. I see POLICE written across his orange vest. He stood at least six feet tall, strong build, black hair, and even features. That’s does it. I am intrigued and I know it’s the uniform attraction. Most women hold these rescue fantasies that originate from childhood.

I’m in a burning building and I hear the sirens in the distance. I look out and through the smoke I see these strong, handsome men in uniform, facing danger and possible demise, just to save me. I am picked up and thrown over massive shoulders and…
The typical romance story.

If you ask most women, “is this true?” They may deny it, but believe me, we all have this weakness for a man in uniform. If an emergency occurs where we have to call 911 and there’s any opportunity to run a comb through our hair or quickly refresh lipstick, it will be done. And there’s always chance of a bonus—not only the paramedics, but the firemen may be stomping through as well. If the firemen should arrive first, I will be out on the street waving toward the sound of sirens.

In emergencies, we are rarely disappointed.

I have witnessed the best from these men—how they handle stress, their gentle manner dealing with someone in a compromised position. They take charge and effortlessly lift a patient, whisking them off to the hospital. Sighs and mutterings from nearby women run like, “Aah, now where was I?”

As a young girl, this rescue fantasy would be replayed with the leading role changing from paramedic to fireman, and yes, police. (Only the good ones like the hero in Due South.) I don’t indulge in this kind of daydream anymore, now that I am more mature, but the appeal lingers.

Yeah, right! I admit it. I felt some excitement having this coffee-ordering officer standing there for a good five minutes while he waited. I had a talk with myself.

Get up there and say something funny. Like what? Hmmm…say you feel so protected with him standing there in front of you. Are you kidding? How juvenile is that? Get up there before he’s gone. At least ask the barista for ice water. How obvious is that? You’re gonna kick yourself afterward when he leaves. Opportunities like this don’t happen very often. You think he’s cute. You’re attracted to him. Get up there and just smile… and say hello…

I was about to make my move when suddenly his drink was placed on the counter, he took it, and left.

Damn!

I checked the time, noted the day, and made a personal promise to return next week and see if anything might develop, should Officer Handsome chance by on his break.

For now, I’ll occupy my time re-reading notes and preparing articles about my experiences dating clowns. Literally. I’ve dated two of them. One even wrote on his internet profile: I spend $400.00 a month on balloons! Ask me how busy I am!

An innocent enough statement from a clown, but as you will discover from these articles I am now writing, I was about to find out otherwise.

When in peril, Adrienne asks specifically for Constable Benton Fraser and trusty companion Diefenbaker. Due South Season One, starring Paul Gross. Series created by Paul Haggis. Photo courtesy: Alliance Atlantis

Rescue Me © 2011 Adrienne S Moody. Read more of Adrienne’s online dating adventures on now.readthisplease.com

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